Making Divorce Less Painful for Your Children
As a parent, the last thing you want is to see your children suffer. In the midst of a divorce, though, you can do thing, often unintentionally, that cause a lot of confusion, anxiety and pain for your children. Here are some tips to minimize that risk.
Redefine Your Relationship with Your Ex
If you have minor children, the reality is that you will have to have some sort of relationship with your ex, as you will have to work effectively with them on custody and visitation matters. To the extent that you can, let the past be the past. When structuring your new relationship with your ex, ask yourself, “how can I get along with my ex in ways that are most beneficial for my children?” Be willing to compromise, as long as you are not sacrificing your relationship with your children in the process.
Pay Attention—Even the Best of Intentions Can Be Misinterpreted
Often, some of the most painful things that divorced parents do are done with the best of intentions. For example, don’t tell your child how much you will “miss” them as get ready to head out the door with their non-custodial parent. Many young children interpret this to mean that their custodial parent will be “lonely” without them, and will be sad. Consequently, they spend most of their time with the noncustodial parent worrying about the other parent. Your children know that you love them. When they go with a non-custodial parent, you should simply encourage them to have a good time.
Always Be Clear In Your Communications
Not knowing is generally far worse than knowing. Furthermore, your children are more observant than you probably give them credit for. If something is wrong, they’ll generally know, even if they don’t know what is wrong. If you don’t give them some idea of what is going on, they will typically try to figure it out themselves and will usually come up with the wrong answer.
Contact the Law Office of Taylor & Boguski
At Taylor & Boguski, we bring more than 70 years of combined legal experience to men and women throughout New Jersey. For a free initial consultation, contact us online or call us at 856-234-2233.
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